To Start Afresh.

My temper has always been bad. Mummy says. I know. Many times. I thought I've mellowed down a lot since schooldays and now working days. Haven't got all that stressed up to my nose yesterday for a longgggg time.

THREE ads to rush (coupled with 1 major campaign to be FA-ed and 2 big collaterals). Little wonder my pants felt so loose this morning all of a sudden (albeit me finishing 2/3 of the candies in the big tupperware in office. *puzzled*)

I took it out on my designers, I guess. Recalling back, yes I know I tend to sound harsh. Hello, everything is piling on me and almost crushing me to death and I was a hungry person. Everyone knows a hungry man is an angry man. I didn't take lunch, only had Soupy Max which was yucky to the max and my dinner was some loveletters, cuttlefish, cashew nuts and several pieces of cookies.

I was in the bloody office for the whole day! Didn't even get to step out for a while, not even for fresh air. I felt so suffocated, badly in need of fresh air. I know it's time for me to get some even for 30 minutes but every second for me counts for the day. ALL the ads had problem. Got screwed left, right and center. Basically, I was in pieces. Not knowing what to do.

I seriously feel 24 hours isn't enough. Seriously. Minus the sleeping time, 24 isn't enough. Give me more!! Gosh.

I must have gone a tad overboard. Colleague e told me off a little. Told me to learn from my partner. Hello, she isn't doing ads which cost thousands of bucks if it's missed alright! SPH don't wait for anyone! You must be crazy!! Who's going to pay for a blank space? On top of that, who's going to answer to client? You don't really understand our nature of job.

But I must also admit, I still cannot handle stress well enough. I'm learning!

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Hence, I've decided to give myself a fresh start. Start the day cheery and bright. End the day bright and cheery. This has clearly illustrated the limitation of my vocabulary, isn't it?

Mistake #1: Never shoot yourself on your toes. FYI, I always do. Darn! ;)

In any case, I'd like to apologize to my colleagues whom I've lost my cool at. I raised my voice, I pressurized unnecessarily. Sorry, especially to b and w and s. Many apologies to j too for my ignorance in Mandarin, hence unnecessary delay and heart attack for the ad. So bad the heart attack I refuse (more like don't dare) to buy today's newspaper to see if the ad appears right.

Went back to office today to settle backlogs. Yes, I know I press very hard sometimes but please try to understand, we have deadlines to meet and they're absolute. Once missed, agency will have to bear the cost and responsibilities. Who's going to bear the responsibilities? Company, you think so? No, it's the AEs. Ie me. My reputation will stink. Designers? Nah, people will only remember AEs being incompetent, bla bla. So to hell I go if I'm going to let you ruin me.

In any case, I've decided to give myself a chance to start afresh and learn, learn, learn. In the process, I try to manage people. =)

Just got back from work some 5 hours ago and now, I'm going to continue what I've left off. This is so funny. Doh!

P/S: I so love my Backstreet Boys! Hehe...(iTunes playing their song mah, as if they're keeping me company for the night. Hee hee.)